Time in Buenos Aires is precious—but in a completely different
way than it is in the US. Time is social,
not functional. This means that interactions
and the enjoyment of the unique details of every day may be far more important
than a schedule or function to be performed at an exact time to a specific
extent. Suddenly, “meeting at 3:30” means “let’s meet when it’s convenient
sometime this week” or “complete a project” means “do what I feel like today,
and do what I can tomorrow”. This is not to imply that Argentines are lazy or
that they behave like this in every situation, but merely to suggest that they
often view time much differently. Sometimes we let ourselves do this in the US
(you know when you’re on your way to study for a test and you run into a good
friend on your way and stop for a 30 minute conversation??). The difference is
that we feel distressed when these interruptions happen. We are glad for the
conversation, but we’re always calculating how far behind we are because of it.
We make to do lists based on time rather than just letting the day happen and
doing what we feel or can. This just simply isn’t possible in Argentina because
things don’t function perfectly all the time and it’s nearly impossible to make
it so. In addition, there is a lot of slow, bureaucratic procedure (like with
the Sube card…) that slow you down more. Even for me, it is starting to feel
ambitious to just get my groceries taken care of because it can be that arduous
and different from the US. Make no mistake, time is important and there are
schedules—they just flow differently.
Space is different too. While most major cities have much smaller
personal bubble spaces because of the sheer numbers of people in them, Buenos
Aires makes this even smaller. People here are up front and candid about any
and everything. They’re not going to beat around the bush. This directness is
reflected in their proximity to you when talking as well as the gestures they
make with their hands and the way they touch you if and when they do. Everybody
does one kiss on the left cheek (or, rather, an air kiss with two cheeks
touching) when they greet or bid adieu and nobody is uncomfortable with it. It
doesn’t matter if it’s your best friend’s husband and you or two men—it always
happens, because it is a sign of affection, recognition and pleasure at their company.
They’re much less polite, however, if they happen to invade your personal bubble,
because to them, it’s nonexistent. Bumping into people on the Subte or
colectivo is going to happen, and they will shove their way through you to get
out. Nobody’s saying “excuse me”. While I don’t really mind having others in my
personal bubble during a conversation I’ve entered (because quite frankly, I’m
quite frank too) it is bothersome in
the streets with random strangers who I’ve been told to be 100% apprehensive
of. If someone is hovering too closely behind me, I can feel the paranoia
trickling into my veins—when really they might just be anxious to cross the
street too.
Additionally, relationships are determined by time rather
than space. By this, I mean that the friends you have here are friends you’ve
had for a long time, versus someone that you met by proximity. In the US we
have social spheres based on location because we have much more mobility. Many
Argentines stay in the same general area for their whole life, as property is
passed down from one generation to the next, which means that the people they
were friends with in primary school might still be in their circle of closest
confidantes. Obviously, this can also mean a special emphasis is placed on
family too. Most Argentines live with their families longer than we do in the
US, again because there is less mobility.
There are many parts of this lifestyle I agree with. Very
rarely do I beat around the bush about anything and usually have no intention
of doing so. I am direct, candid and real because it’s too hard to censor
myself and this allows me to build the intimacy and trust that I have with my
friends that many people seem to lack because they are too afraid to push past
the surface or be honest. But, being that I’m an overachieving, impatient
perfectionist it’s been difficult to adjust to the fact that I can’t make
extensive to do lists that are planned by the hour and get everything done in
one day. I hate waiting for things, but every day I’m waiting for something and
usually it doesn’t necessarily follow a perfect schedule and while I’m late for
everything back at home (sorry, I didn’t like the outfit I had on and only
realized it 2 minutes before I left…)it ironically seems much more stressful to
be late for something here, even though chances are everybody else is running
late too—usually because I feel like I’m going the wrong way, or I went the
wrong way and now I’m late for it...Except when it comes to school. You can’t
be late for that. Go figure. Ciao for now and un beso!
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