1.
There are trees everywhere. Down nearly every
street, there are gobs and gobs of trees. And not just some little snaggly
branch trees, but fully grown, gorgeous trees. While the city is more or less
dirty in parts, the trees more than make up for that. In addition, they provide
shade, which is necessary when you’re walking to and fro.
2.
Los Porteños
son delgados. In addition to being thin, they have this inexplicably tiny
skeletal structure. Sure, I’m not fat, but even if I lost weight, I could only
get so small. Some women have bodies that make them look like young teenagers.
I guess that explains why there’s such an obsession with self-image here. Some
women look unnaturally thin, with ribs and collarbones jutting out…
3.
Don’t bother doing your hair. Buenos Aires is a
place where you just have to let your hair air-dry, so I guess we’re lucky that’s
the fashion right now. And I feel bad for you if you have unmanageable hair
under air-drying circumstances…In addition to a straightener/blowdryer being
more than $50 (so much for just buying them here…) nobody really uses them
anyway. And even if you did, in this heat, your hair would be a mess in 5
minutes.
4.
On that note… ¡Hace mucho calor! And it’s super
humid too. Really any attempt you make to be attractive is futile. Your hair
will be gross, your makeup will sweat off and your clothing will be damp 30
minutes after you leave the house. Bring on the greasy/sweaty-faced pimples,
too!
5.
Just like in Europe, water isn’t free at the
restaurants. Bring your own, or prepare to pay ~$3-4 (USD) for just a sip. It’s
cheaper to get certain foods than it is to get water. But it’s cheap if you buy
your own. 1.5L for $1!
6.
Napkins are a strange subject. In most
restaurants, they’re little and plastic-y which makes it difficult to actually
use them as a napkin…Also, apparently you don’t put your napkin on your lap;
rather, you just keep it on the table and wipe as needed.
7.
There really is a chronic shortage of change.
The ATMs generally only give $100 peso notes, which is unfortunate because if
you don’t have a large enough charge, they won’t (or don’t want to) accept it.
And if you don’t pay in exact change, prepare to not get the right change back—either
because they think maybe you won’t notice, they don’t have the right change, or
because they just don’t give a shit about the $5 they still owe you. Sometimes
you won’t even get it unless you bother them to ask “uhh…MI CAMBIO, POR FAVOR!”.
And sure 1 peso (~.25 USD) might not seem like a lot, but it adds up just like
a coin jar at home does. On a side note, I set a peso coin on the table for a
second while I was reading my menu and Tonya noticed that the waiter took it
while I was reading. Goddamn sneaky Argentines and your change!!!!!!!
8.
They really do the “mustard trick” here. Hasn’t
happened to me, but a Korean student got all his important documents stolen
because somebody spilled paint on him and a “nice old lady” came to help him
get it off and the accomplice stole his bag. Mustard is the new black. Keep
walking and never let anyone help you clean it off.
9.
So because of things like this, you can never
get distracted here. If somebody is trying to get your attention, they’re
probably trying to get your wallet too. Also, this means nobody trusts anybody.
Even if you’re the victim yelling for help, it’s likely nobody will help you
because they think you’re just an accomplice trying to get attention. So much
for making friends with the natives in haphazard ways…
10. The
keys here are these ancient, romantic things that look like the classic example
of a key. The doors are hard to open, though. In the U.S., when the door is
opened, it makes some obvious clicking sounds and you can feel it unlocking,
whereas here it’s a very subtle movement and you might not notice you’ve opened
the door…
11. The
flusher for the toilet is above. Not below. So don’t turn the water pipe handle
thinking you’re gonna flush…Not that I did that…
12. While
I’m still learning lunfardo slang (the slang of BA), the vos pronoun form and
accent are easy to notice. In Spanish, to refer to “you”, they use the word “tú”—but
here, they use “vos”. It still means you, but it’s a different word. The verbs
used with vos are conjugated differently (as are commands) so it’s an
additional thing I have to pay attention to. Also, the porteños pronounce their ‘y’s and ‘ll’s
with a zh sound (like when you say the word rouge). It’s all “che boludo” y “me
jzahmo” over here.
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