Pickpocket attempt #1

Saturday, March 10^th, 2012

We’d survived the 2^nd 20 hour bus ride and arrived ahead of schedule at Retiro. All I had to do was make it to the train and walk the 5 blocks back to my house and I was golden. I was quite cautious outside the bus station as in addition to my backpack, I had my small, gimpy suitcase squeaking behind me. We were close to the train station when out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman approaching me and felt something on my back. GET THE #^%$ AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY PUTA! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!! I’VE BEEN MUSTARD TRICKED!!!!!!! Except instead of mustard, it was actually sunscreen*. In case you don’t know what that means, here’s what’s up:

The “mustard trick” is when someone spills something on you or squirts it on your back as you walk by. Your natural reaction is “huh? what’s that?!” leaving you distracted and more likely to make a fatal mistake that ends with you getting pickpocketed unknowingly while the accomplice tries to “help” you wipe off the mustard. The worst part is, in BA, the accomplice can be a kid or a woman, which makes the victim feel like they are actually just trying to help. That’s never the case. And sadly in this city, every time somebody offers to help me, I assume they’re trying to rob me so I always say NO and skitter away.

But luckily I’d been told about the mustard trick and as soon as I saw the woman I screamed “NO NO NO!” and ran away. While there’s a 110% chance of getting pickpocketed in this city, the good news is that most of these occur without violence so it wasn’t like I started running and she ran after me. If they can’t get you, they’ll wait around for another victim.

While waiting for the train, I had Angela help me wipe off the sunscreen and felt like I was having a non-panic-attack-panic-attack. I wasn’t panicking, but I was in total disbelief over what had just happened and reeling over how lucky I was that nothing got stolen. I didn’t have any money, but I had an iPad, iPod, Canon Rebel, Canon point and shoot and my cell phone. It’s stupid to have all those things on your person, what would you bring on a 20 hour bus ride to Patagonia, you know?

When I made it home, I was still a little shaken. I thought about the woman approaching me and immediately felt enraged. I know some of those people steal because they have no other option, but at the same time, is that really true? It’s hard to know for sure. Additionally, it makes me feel that no matter how much I can come to know and like this city, I will never accept it as a home because I distrust everybody and can never let my guard down for one second, making it stressful to do any and everything. I sometimes don’t even feel safe walking around alone in the daytime. More reasons why I get homesick sometimes…

*Sunscreen is really expensive here, so why they’re using that to fling mercilessly on people they want to rob, I’m not sure. Classy pickpockets…who knew…