Friday, April 20th, 2012
After spending a lovely evening watching Cocaine Cowboys 2
(see BAFICI entry for description), I realized that despite what it said on the
website, the film had actually lasted longer than 90 minutes, meaning that the
Subte was now closed because it was past 11:30. Alright, I got this. I flipped
through my Multi Guia and found that the 168 bus passed through the area as
well as my house so I figured I’d give it a shot. I asked a security guard if I
was right to take that bus and where the stop was. He said yes and pointed to
it 2 blocks up on the left side. I felt good to be such a pro navigator.
That feeling ended about 6 blocks later when I realized I
was on the right bus, but once again, I was going in the wrong direction. This
wouldn’t have been a huge deal save for the fact that it was now past midnight
and the neighborhood we were passing through was increasingly dark, scary and
abandoned. Oh and we were heading towards La Boca, too, which is the LAST place
you want to be if you’re a cute little gringa
and it’s past sundown. I wasn’t panicking, but was in “we need to make a
decision quick” mode and so as I got into a better-lit area with more people, I
got off the bus and decided that I was going to forget buses altogether and
just take a cab home. Or at least take a cab as far as $60 pesos would get me…
Normally, you should always call a radio taxi. Especially
when it’s dark, scary and you’re alone. But I didn’t want to wait until it got
there, so I hopped in a cab off the street hoping this wouldn’t be my last
journey I’d take ever…
I told the taxista
that I had $60 but that I needed to keep at least two pesos in case I needed to
catch a bus, because of course I had ZERO pesos on my Sube card…I told him I
needed to go up Cabildo and assumed that he would just get onto Santa Fe and
then Cabildo. Wrong. He headed all the way over to Libertador and while I kinda
know the buses over there, it’s still kind of a crapshoot. The meter was
running up like crazy and we weren’t even halfway. I saw a sign pointing left
to get to Plaza Italia and asked him if we could go there instead. He seemed a
little grumpy that he was “off course” from my original directions but I
reminded him that I only had a certain amount and I needed to be in an area I
was familiar with.
We got close and the meter was in the fifties (oh, thanks
for giving me the “stupid foreigner” rate…). I knew I had to get out soon but
we weren’t quite there yet and were still in a poorly lit area. I told him this
and he kept insisting we’d get there. We did. And he said $60. DUDE I NEED
MONEY FOR THE BUS. Then he insisted $60 again. I could have argued with him
over it and just handed him the $58 but I wasn’t about to get into something
serious over $2 and he didn’t seem like a guy I would want to argue with past
1am…especially when taxistas are
known to be totally rude and don’t really care if you’re in a pickle.
Alright. So I’m in Plaza Italia with ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY. I
at least knew where I was and how I would get home. But I didn’t know where I
would get the money to do it. In the cab, I figured I could just ask a stranger
because $2 is the equivalent of USD .50! But suddenly I didn’t have the guts to
do it. I was dressed pretty cute and fashionably with my LeSportSac bag, and
obviously that’s not very convincing if you’re begging for money and given that
Argentine girls always give me dirty looks and guys give me dirty looks too
(but in the I want to get dirty with you way) I didn’t feel safe asking anyone.
Plus revealing that I was sans cash didn’t seem safe either. So I started clip
clopping forward in what would later be deemed the world’s most uncomfortable
shoes. I thought of that Demetri Martin joke “If you’re wearing flip flops,
it’s like you’re saying ‘I hope I don’t get chased today!”. Except instead of
flip flops and getting chased, it was awful shoes and possibly having to walk
20+ blocks…
But crap. I can’t walk all the way back home. Ok new plan.
Call Ryan. His friend lives in Plaza Italia and I knew he said he was going to
his party tonight. Nope. No answer. Should I call my host family? Ugh, it’s so
late and I can’t make them come get me. So I called my loyal best friend,
Angela. I felt terrible for asking her to basically get her butt out of bed to
come save mine, but sometimes you’re desperate and run out of options.
After a brief period of waiting (where I found a ring on the
street—score!) she hopped out of the 59 and all we could do was laugh. That’s
how you know you’ve got a true friend. When she not only gets out of bed to
rescue you, spends a little bit of her money to do it, and does it with a
smile, not expecting anything other than you to be ok. And don’t worry, I’ll be
paying it back to her shortly, but really I was just so happy to have a friend
like her.
Also, it proved that we were getting to be pros at this
whole “worst case scenario” thing that always happens in Argentina. Nothing
works, you get ripped off, it’s late at night and you can’t get home…pfft, tell
me something new. I don’t even care anymore.
The most important part is the following 4 lessons:
- Always ask the bus driver of the direction the bus is going. If you still manage to get on the wrong bus, ask the driver what your options are. They have nothing to gain by not telling you and they can probably help you out.
- Never put up with a taxi driver’s crap. If he gives you the stupid foreigner fare, tell him you’ll take your business everywhere (or just get in the cab and say “Che, no me jodés. No soy boluda.”). And if you don’t like the route he’s taking, tell him where you’d rather go. And for god’s sake, if you need those last $2, just give him the $58 and tell him he’s gotten more than his fair share. And if he still sucks despite all this, write down his info and report him to the taxi company.
- If you’re in a desperate situation, once again, just ask the bus driver. It’s not uncommon for even porteños to get robbed, so sometimes you are without any money or a Sube card. It’s $1.25…and come on, I’m cute!
- Always wear comfortable shoes. ALWAYS.
- It’s ok to do things yourself, but sometimes you should just get over your pride and embarrassment and ask for help.
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