ReLAX

Two things are wrong with this picture: I'm wearing PANTS and I'm in the international terminal but cannot find my connecting flight to Panama City...once again, trying not to panic, I search for the Copa airlines booth and simply cannot find it. So I continue to search, this time for the help desk, which LAX likes to hide for some reason. I finally encounter it and am greeted by a very made up Eastern European woman who informs me that Copa airlines is actually a few terminals back. 

So once again, I was in the wrong terminal, sweating with my bags, wanting to kill someone from United Airlines who mistakenly directed me to Tom Bradley. I'm sure you're thinking well can't you just take the shuttle between terminals? Well here's the thing with that--it's a crappy bus that comes once every ??? and in the time you spend waiting you could probably just walk there. Not to mention it's one way. And it's a bus: i/e have fun dragging your huge suitcase on board. Also, I hope you're not disabled because you're going to need a hovercraft to use this airport.

Steam fuming out my ears (did I mention I hate this airport...?) I finally find the Copa airlines booth and am delighted to at least see that there is absolutely no line. Security is a breeze and I find my gate, which, per the norm, was the veeeeeeery last one. Everyone at my gate is speaking Spanish, with most people blasting something from their phone with no headphones as an ambiguous Latino guy stares at me wondering where I'm from. I can tell he wants to talk to me but doesn't know in what language. Sorry pal, from now on, I do not espeek engleesh.